The Phoenix Encounter Read online

  He stood there for several long minutes, shaken by the power of his emotions. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened between him and Lily just a few short hours ago. The way she’d come apart in his arms. It was as if all the months of pain and grief had erupted and spilled over into passion. When the emotions had become too much for her to contain, she’d cried. He’d held her tightly, but it hadn’t been enough, and he couldn’t ever remember feeling so helpless.

  He wanted to believe the experience had moved him so profoundly because it had been such a long time since he’d taken a lover. But Robert had never been able to lie to himself, especially when it came to Lily. He knew why their lovemaking had shaken him so profoundly. Knew it had nothing to do with the physical—and everything to do with his heart.

  He’d fallen in love with her all over again. Something he swore he’d never do after what she’d put him through. He hadn’t the slightest idea how to handle the situation. Lily wasn’t an easy woman to love. She was stubborn and headstrong and independent to a fault. But she was also generous and kind and more fragile than she would ever admit. Her childhood had shaped her, damaged her, made her the beautiful person she was, and he loved the good right along with the flawed—no questions asked.

  Once she had her mind set, there was no stopping her. He knew she wasn’t going to leave Rebelia. The truth of that twisted him into knots. Made him feel powerless and inept and so frustrated he wanted to shake her.

  He thought of his mission and tried not to envision how this was going to end. Robert wasn’t very good at losing people. He’d lost his father to hemoedema when he’d been ten years old. He’d lost his brother two years later to the same disease. He’d be damned if he’d let this woman rip out his heart.

  Feeling the weight of the world settle onto his shoulders, Robert walked over to Lily and Jack and knelt. For several long seconds he watched them sleep. They looked peaceful in the flickering light from the fire, and his heart stumbled hard at the thought of losing them. He loved her. He loved the child they had created. He wished it was enough.

  But it wasn’t.

  Robert would find a way to be in Jack’s life. He would find a way to know him. To guide him and love him and be the best father he could. That wasn’t what Robert wanted—he wanted a hell of a lot more—but it would have to be enough.

  “Hey.”

  Robert glanced at Lily to see her smiling at him. The firelight turned her hair to silk and shone like tiny lights in her luminous eyes. Her beauty, the depth of his need for her shook him. For a moment he was so taken aback by his feelings for her that he couldn’t speak. All he could do was look at her and want her while knowing that if he went to her now, it would be a mistake from which he would never recover.

  Casting him a concerned look, she propped up on an elbow, careful to keep the blanket over her. “Are you all right? You look…troubled.”

  “We have to go,” he heard himself say.

  She looked uneasily toward the mine entrance and sat up straighter. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “It’s only a matter of time before DeBruzkya’s soldiers find us here. We can’t risk staying. And we can’t travel during the daylight hours.”

  She glanced over at Jack, brushed her hand across his cheek. “What time is it?”

  “Almost five.” He rose and walked to where their clothes hung on the wire above the fire. Her skirt and sweater were dry for the most part, so he took them down and handed them to her.

  “Thank you,” she said, not meeting his gaze.

  Robert turned and walked away, careful to keep his back to her. He heard the rustle of clothes and wondered if he would ever make love to her again.

  “Robert?”

  Something in her voice spun him around. She was holding Jack, staring at him, her face ashen.

  “What is it?” Robert asked, but he was already moving toward her.

  “He’s cold.” Laying the baby down, she put trembling hands on his face, ran them gently over his body. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

  Panic resonated in her voice. Robert could see it in her eyes. He knelt beside her. “Let’s get him out of his carrier so I can see him.”

  “Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, Jack.”

  “Stay calm, Lily.” Robert saw immediately that the child was lethargic and having a difficult time waking up. He picked up one of Jack’s chubby hands, pressed down on the tip of his fingernail. “Blood return is delayed.”

  Lily’s eyes were huge and frightened when she turned to him. “What does that mean?”

  “That means we need to get him to the hospital.”

  “What’s happening?”

  Robert worked quickly to free Jack from his carrier. Once he was out he laid him on his back on the tarp and checked his pulse. “Grab my bag,” he snapped.

  She jumped to her feet, scooped up Robert’s bag and brought it to him. “Tell me,” she demanded. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “He may be going into anemic shock.”

  “Shock?” Falling to her knees next to her child, she looked at his still little body and put her hand over her mouth to smother a cry. “Oh, no. Oh, God, no.”

  Robert reached into his medical bag for a syringe. He tore the wrapper off, then removed the small bottle of vitamin B-12 from its box and inserted the needle into the protective rubber stopper.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to give him some B-12 to see if I can get his red cell count up. That should help.” He hoped it would.

  Tears streamed down her face as she watched Robert turn the child onto his stomach and inject the vitamin. Jack let out a healthy-sounding wail, and Lily choked back a sob that was half pain, half relief.

  “Sorry about that, big guy,” Robert said as he withdrew the needle and dropped it into an orange biohazard cup. “I know it smarts.”

  “I didn’t think I’d ever be so happy to hear him cry,” Lily said.

  Robert looked at her, saw the fear etched into her every feature, and his heart broke for her. “He’s going to be all right,” he said. “But we need to get him to the hospital as soon as possible.”

  She wiped the tears on her cheeks with her sleeve, then leaned forward and gathered a crying Jack into her arms. “It’s going to be all right, sweetheart. Shh, don’t cry. It’s okay. Daddy’s going to fix you right up.”

  Daddy.

  The word jolted him. It was the first time either of them had used it, and it hit him in a place that was vulnerable and raw. He sat back on his heels and watched her dress Jack, wondering if she realized what she’d said. If she had any idea how much that single word had affected him. How much it hurt.

  “I’ve only got one more bottle,” she said, taking a small plastic bottle of milk from her backpack. “I’ll need to pick up some baby food and goat’s milk at the market once we get into town.”

  Robert glanced at her, realized belatedly that she’d been speaking to him. “I checked the map while you were sleeping. Rajalla is only a couple of miles away. If we maintain a good pace we should be there in half an hour or so.”

  “All right.” Lily rose, scooped up Jack and secured the straps of his carrier.

  For an instant, Robert considered carrying Jack. Then he realized that no matter how much he held his child now, it wasn’t going to help when he had returned home, an ocean away, and his heart was once again empty.

  The city of Rajalla rose out of the valley like a flotilla of crisp white sailboats tossed about on an ocean of green and winter-gray. Lily’s spirits lifted as she stood on the bluff overlooking the city and took in the sight of the cobblestone streets packed with horse-drawn carriages, small, sputtering cars of indistinguishable origin and vendors pushing carts filled with wildly blooming flowers, hand-painted pottery and fresh meats from local farms.

  She’d always loved Rajalla. The people were friendly. The city was chock-full of ancient buildings, beautiful architecture and quaint shops. The smatter
ing of cultures formed an interesting melting pot of languages from all over Europe—German, French, English and several dialects of Rebelian. Lily had loved the bustling confusion, the old-world charm, the beauty of the countryside upon which the city was nestled.

  All of that had changed since DeBruzkya’s soldiers had moved in. Most of the restaurants and cafés had closed. Many of the buildings were damaged. There were a lot more funerals.

  But while the war might have damaged the city, she thought, it had done nothing to dull the spirit of the people. Some of the buildings might lay in ruin, but the city had already begun to rebuild. The church in the southern sector sported a new bell tower. The rococo fountain in the town square had been repaired. No, she thought, DeBruzkya and his war machine might be able to damage wood and brick and concrete, but they could never take away the spirit of the Rebelian people.

  Lily knew that beneath the old-world charm and friendly smiles, the freedom movement thrived. The thought gave her a smidgen of satisfaction because in her heart she knew that one day DeBruzkya would fall. She only hoped it didn’t come too late.

  Trying not to think too hard about the role she would play, she looked down at her child, felt the familiar swell of love in her chest. He’d improved throughout the early morning hours. He’d taken half a bottle of milk and an entire jar of pavio and pois—turkey and pea baby food manufactured and packaged right in Rajalla. His color had returned to normal, and he’d been chattering for the last hour. Realizing how lucky they were, she pressed a kiss to the top of his head and thanked God for taking care of them.

  “This way.”

  She jolted at the sound of Robert’s voice. Turning from the vista, she risked a look at him, felt the now familiar tug of an emotion she refused to identify. He looked haggard, a little dangerous and more handsome than any man had a right to after what they’d been through during the long night. She wondered if he’d gotten any sleep. Wondered if he was as troubled—as scared—as she was.

  “What are you looking at?” he asked nastily.

  “I was just admiring your scowl.”

  “That obvious, huh?”

  “Yeah.” She knew he wasn’t happy with her, but there was no way she could turn her back on the Rebelian people now. She wished she could make him understand. Wished she could convince him that once this beautiful country was liberated, when her people were free and her children safe, then she could fly to the United States and they would live happily ever after.

  Taking her time, she walked over to him. Snuggled against her abdomen, Jack kicked his legs and chattered. She stopped a foot away from Robert, aware that he was watching her closely, that he looked cautious and edgy and tired as hell.

  He glanced at Jack, and his expression softened. “I can carry him for you.”

  “It’s all right.”

  “I want to.”

  Realizing belatedly that Robert wanted to carry his son, she unfastened the carrier straps and passed Jack to him. Her stomach fluttered when he grinned at him, then brushed his mouth across Jack’s forehead. She knew it was stupid to read more into the moment than was there. Lily could lie to herself until she was blue in the face. But deep inside she knew it wasn’t simple affection she saw in the vivid blue depths of Robert’s eyes, but love.

  The realization of what she’d allowed to happen struck her like a well-aimed kick. Aware that her chest was tight, that her mouth had gone dry, she watched him heft the carrier onto his back and adjust the straps to fit his larger frame.

  “We’re going to have to be careful,” he said. “Rajalla is crawling with soldiers.”

  “I know, it’s just that—” She broke off, embarrassed because her emotions were spiraling out of control. She wasn’t sure why, but she suddenly felt uncertain and overwhelmed and more afraid than she’d been in a long time.

  She walked a short distance away and looked out over Rajalla. “I love this place,” she said, struggling not to cry. “It’s hard to believe someone would want to destroy it.”

  She heard Robert come up behind her but she didn’t turn around. “This isn’t your war to fight, Lily.”

  “It wasn’t Strawberry’s war, either.”

  “You have a son to think about now.”

  That stopped her. It always did. It was the one point that was inarguable. The subject that caused her the most pain when she thought of what she had to do. There was never a time when she didn’t think about Jack’s safety. When she didn’t consider his future. Once the rebels were in power and a democracy was restored, she could go on with her life and concentrate solely on being a mother to her precious son. But until then…

  “It’s hard to do the right thing sometimes.” She looked at Robert, found his eyes already on her. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him so tense. His jaw was tight, his brows drawn together, his mouth pulled into a severe line.

  “If anything happens to me,” she began, the words coming in a flood, “I want you to promise me you’ll take care of J—”

  He moved so quickly she didn’t see it coming. One moment she was standing alone, and in the next instant her body was flush against his. He stared at her with a fierce expression, his nostrils flaring.

  “Don’t ever say that,” he said between clenched teeth.

  “It has to be said.”

  “Damn it, Lily—”

  “I need to know Jack will be—”

  Her words were cut off abruptly when he crushed his mouth to hers. Anger that he would kiss her when she was trying to say something so important sparked at the back of her brain. But that spark was quickly doused by the feel of his mouth against hers. The taste of desperation on his lips. The emotion pounding through her with every beat of her heart.

  He released her an instant later. Lily stumbled back, stunned by the truth of the moment, shocked even more by how badly it had shaken her. Robert stood a few feet away from her, breathing hard, looking every bit as shaken as she felt.

  “It doesn’t have to be like this,” he said.

  “Once the transfusion is complete, I’m going to meet with the rebels.”

  “No, damn it.”

  “Robert, I need to do this. I have to.” But even as she said the words, Lily sensed danger. She felt the black presence of impending doom pressing down on her like a thunderhead.

  And even with the sun shining and the man she loved close enough to touch, she knew that all would not end well, just as it had not ended well for a little girl named Strawberry.

  Chapter 13

  The Hospité de Rajalla was in dismal condition, Robert thought as they entered the building through a rear exit. Two years ago it had been a bustling city within a city, with a state-of-the-art surgical center and two hundred beds. But, like the rest of Rebelia, the civil war had made its mark. The south wing, once the maternity ward, had been so badly damaged it was closed and cordoned off with wooden horses and great sheets of polyurethane. Several of the windows had been broken and hastily repaired with cardboard and tape.

  He squashed the uneasy desire to look over his shoulder as they walked down the wide hall toward the bright overhead lights of the nursing center. He felt relatively certain none of DeBruzkya’s soldiers had spotted them, but there was no way he could be absolutely sure. He would do everything in his power to expedite Jack’s transfusion, then he planned to take Lily and Jack to the ARIES base camp he’d set up when he’d arrived.

  If a man and a woman traveling with backpacks and an infant were out of place, no one gave any indication. Nurses in white uniforms rushed down the wide hallways with purposeful strides, their shoes muted on the tile floor. A female voice blared in rapid Rebelian over the intercom system.

  Upon entering the city limits, they’d stuck to the back streets and alleyways. But they’d passed very close to a group of soldiers several blocks from the hospital. Four of them, wearing camouflage and the identifying black berets. They’d been smoking cigarettes and drinking black tea, but Robert hadn’t missed
their watchful eyes or the automatic weapons strapped to their shoulders.

  “Do you think those soldiers noticed us?” Lily asked.

  Robert looked over at her, felt the familiar pull and tried hard not to think about all the things that could go wrong while they were here. “I think they were too busy showing off those nifty new uniforms to the women at the café across the street.”

  She shot him a quick smile. “Especially the one in the short skirt.”

  “She had nice legs.”

  She arched a brow.

  He rolled his shoulder. “Hey, I’m a doctor. I appreciate fine anatomy.”

  She huffed. “Well, she didn’t look very impressed.”

  If he hadn’t been so tense he might have laughed. Even in a time of war life went on, he thought. Young men tried to impress young women. People laughed and cried and overcame.

  Men and women fell in love.

  He looked at her, felt an odd quiver in his gut. Several strands of hair had broken free of the ponytail and curled around her face. A face that was pale and smooth and so beautiful he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  For a crazy moment he wanted to stop her, draw her to him and kiss her until she forgot all about the rebellion. Until she forgot about everything except him and Jack and a future that was growing dimmer with every step they took. But he knew even if he kissed her now, she would still do what she deemed necessary. No matter how many times he asked her not to. No matter how dangerous.

  He looked down at Jack, and a different kind of emotion gripped him. The baby stared at him with guileless blue eyes and reached out to grasp his chin with pudgy fingers. Turning his head slightly, Robert kissed his son’s tiny hand and tried not to think about how badly it was going to hurt to lose him.

  They reached the nurse’s station, and a pretty young woman with dark eyes and a friendly smile greeted them in Rebelian.

  “We’re looking for Dr. Orloff,” Robert answered in perfect Rebelian.

  “I just saw him a few minutes ago,” she said. “Let me page him for you.”